and today - my tears came again . i keep this pain and suffering alone - until today ; i let it out with tears . i sit and wondering - that 'thing' is wrong to hold it , the 'thing' is too painful to see , my heart aches and broken again and again . i dont really have a friends that i can trust . its also rare to find a perfect BESTFRIEND right ? and my head full with 'him' . ihatehim .